- Assembly would be a huge set of 1x1 blocks. You could do everything other blocks could do, and more, but it took a lot of time and planning to put them all together the right way.
- C would be 1x1 with a few 2x1 and 4x1 thrown in for convenience.
- C++ would be just like C, but there would be all these new highly specific pieces which would only be used by a few people. Of course, there would be a large collection of prebuilt objects like roads, and doors and windows, and roofs that you could put together.
- Java would be a set of Duplo. Easy to learn, but bulky, crappy, and basically needing about 2 layers of blocks below your own to be able to do anything useful. And you would need all kinds of wrapping objects to reach to a particular height, because Duplos are twice the height
- Python would be a mix of Legos and Technic, easy to read, yet able to do all kinds of complex cool stuff you wanted too. But each part would be made out of silicone, to be moulded to almost any kind of arrangement.
- Ruby would be like Python, but with a added Framework and a community with their own Religion.
- PHP would be what happens when different Legos end up mixing on the floor. You would have thousands of pieces, but gluing them together would be difficult, because you wouldn't know what they were called.
- Factor and other stack based languages, would be the dark horses. Lego bricks with connectors on only one side. Fun to use, but a bit challenging as well.
This is a work in progress, I haven't got all the right comparisons yet.